The Anxiety Beneath Perfectionism

I used to think perfectionism was a high standard.

Now I think it’s often fear wearing a very convincing disguise.

Because perfectionism isn’t really about doing things perfectly.

IT’s about avoiding mistakes.

Avoiding criticism.

Avoiding disappointment.

Avoiding shame.

Many people see perfectionism as ambitious.

Driven.

Organized.

Successful.

What they don’t see is the anxiety underneath.

The overthinking.

The self-criticism.

The sleepless nights replaying conversations.

The constant feeling that no matter how much you’ve done, it still isn’t enough.

Trauma can teach us that mistakes are dangerous.

Maybe mistakes lead to criticism.

Punishment.

Rejections.

Humiliation.

So we adapt.

We become careful.

Then careful becomes perfect.

Then, perfection becomes exhaustion.

One of the most healing questions I’ve learned to ask is”

‘What would happen if this were simply good enough?’

Not perfect.

Not exceptional.

Good enough.

For many people, that’s a terrifying question.

And a freeing one.

What is one area of life where you struggle to give yourself permission to be imperfect?